Among the more extraordinary remarks on the arms procurement process was one made by head of the process, Chippy Shaik.

He explained in Business Day why he didn't recuse himself from discussions involving bids by his brother Schabir thus: "When I mentioned my brother's arms company I was told just to ignore it. I was told that nobody ever bothered to declare these sorts of things and that, in the old days, it was accepted practice to award contracts to pals and relatives. I have heard of a case where an old-guard army general had a factory in his backyard producing military uniforms. He was given contracts by his pals at Armscor."

Gosh, Chippy, that's quite a little admission buried in there.

Say that again?

One sharp-eyed observer of events has been Raenette Taljaard of the Democratic Alliance. She noted that Shaik's statement was somewhat at odds with remarks by Trade and Industry Minister Alec Erwin when asked by the Public Protector if Shaik had recused himself.

Said Erwin: "In regard to those parts of the equipment where there may be a potential conflict of interest, yes. There was no sense in him recusing himself from all of the areas at all because this was a certain part of the equipment, not the total contract as a whole."

Oops. Somebody was stretching the truth elastic. Was it the minister or Chippy? Watch this space.

A good start

Hogarth was nonetheless pleased with the speed and efficiency with which Deputy President Jacob Zuma responded to the fact that questions put to him by the Scorpions had been made public.

It's just a pity that he isn't quite as quick off the mark when it comes to actually answering any of them.

Surely the simplest way to end all this controversy would be to provide the perfectly innocent explanations that we are all confident the deputy president has for all the questions?

C'mon, Jacob, you can do it. Of course, you can, can't you? Yes, you can.

Help with those insults

Since Zuma and Scorpions boss Bulelani Ngcuka are now embroiled in a slanging match, Hogarth would like to help out with some useful insults.

There was Norman Cousins' well-put statement on US President Richard Nixon: "President Nixon's motto was: if two wrongs don't make a right, try three."

And for those moments when journalists become annoying, who could beat Walt Whitman's insulting take on James Gordon Bennett, editor of the New York Herald: "A reptile marking his path with slime wherever he goes, and breathing a mildew at everything fresh and fragrant; a midnight ghoul, preying on rottenness and repulsive filth; a creature, hated by his nearest intimates, and bearing his consciousness thereof upon his distorted features, and upon his despicable soul."

With acknowledgements to Hogarth and the Sunday Times.