Now here's a fellow who's in a spot of bother. His name is William G "Jerry" Boykin, and he's a real boykie, as we former residents of the suburb of Yeoville in Johannesburg are wont to say.

He's a lieutenant-general, a born-again Christian, and also a deputy assistant secretary for intelligence in the Pentagon.

Boykin, a highly decorated special operations type, relating how he fought against a Somali warlord, told an audience : "My God was bigger than his...I knew that my God was a real God and his was an idol."

In another speech, he said some Muslims hated the United States "because we're a Christian nation, because our foundation and our roots are Judaeo-Christian....and the enemy is a guy called Satan."

Boykin also told a gathering that George "Dubya" Bush was in the White House although "the majority of Americans did not vote for him. Why is he there? He's in the White House because God put him there for a time such as this".

During his 33-year military career, Boykin has been involved in some well-known special forces operations, the Los Angeles Times has noted.

Among these were the abortive attempt to rescue Americans held hostage in Iran in 1979, and the 1993 "Blackhawk Down" incident in the beautiful land of Somalia.

I don't know about you, but I have always been under the impression that the mission to rescue the American hostages an th incursion into Somalia were both dismal failures, militarily as well as politically.

So I don't quite understand why Boykin has been promoted an, moreover, I have some problems accepting him as a font of wisdom.

For example, I thought the present enemy of the US was Saddam Hussein, or maybe Osama bin Laden, not Satan, and that in any case Satan has at his disposal forces far more effective than those either of those two gentlemen have been able to bring to battle.

Still, I have been wondering for a long time why Dubya did make it into the White House and I am glad that Boykin has sorted this out for me : it was the almighty, blessed by her name, rather than the American supreme court, that took care of that particular appointment.

But the reason Boykin's in trouble, of course, is that although some Americans might agree wholeheartedly with is sentiments, they are not views that one is supposed to utter publicly in a politically correct society.

So the boykie has apologised. I'm sure he wants to keep his job, after all. Satan, as we all know, tends to operate through the banks - and woe betide you if you can't keep up with your house and motor vehicle payments, not to mention the tithe that I trust the good general gives to his church via the collection plate.

Boykin said his earlier statements has been misinterpreted.

He did not believe, he said, that the Bush administration's "war on terrorism" was a conflict between Christianity and Islam. And when he spoke of the Somali warlord, he did not mean that the Somali's god was Islam, but rather his worship of money and power - idolatry".

As for his statement that God had installed Bush in the White House, Boykin said he meant that God had done the same for "Bill Clinton and other presidents".

Well, perhaps the Almighty does play a role in that pernickety agnostics like myself have no way of understanding or appreciating.

But, if so, I wish she (the Almighty) would answer a few questions for me, in whatever form she chooses to do so.

The questions require a short preamble, and it is this.

Not long ago, Bulelani Ngcuka, the national director of public prosecutions, held a press conference at which he stated that there existed a prima facie case against Jacob Zuma, the deputy president, of soliciting a bribe.

Now, there is no way that Ngcuka did this without first having consulted Thabo Mbeki, the president.

Second, this is no way that the president would have appointed the Hefer commission to examine allegations that Ngcuka had been a suspected spy (as claimed by Mac "the knife" Maharaj) if he, Mbeki, had not first asked Ngcuka if there was any truth to the allegations. To which question Ngcuka presumably replied, no.

So here's the question : what exactly is the president doing?

How could he allow his deputy to be found guilty without a benefit of a trial? Similarly, if the president knows that Ngcuka will be found not to have been a suspected spy, why did he appoint the Hefer commission?

Is he panicked or did he, in the case of Zuma, merely find an elegant way of getting rid of a rival?

And, in the case of Ngcuka, has he simply found a less elegant and more long-winded way of shutting up Maharaj the troublemaker once and for all?

By the way, the Almighty should not feel pressured to answer me.

As far as I'm concerned, a short letter or briefing from the president himself, on or off the record, and with or without editors of whatever colour in attendance, will be just dandy.

With acknowledgements to Karen Bliksem and The Sunday Independent.