Bloemfontein - When Mo Shaik gave evidence at the Hefer Commission he told of a world of shadows - a place where impressions and intuition were more important than cold hard facts, and where suspicion was enough.

It is a place where logic could get one killed and where a whisper is a more effective shield than a fact.

But when Shaik, driven by loyalty to his erstwhile commander Jacob Zuma, turned the same whisper into a weapon he found himself on the back foot, defending what seems to have been a dubious decision.

Earlier this year Shaik revealed that his ANC intelligence unit had once investigated national director of Public Prosecutions Bulelani Ngcuka and found that, in all probability, he was an apartheid agent.

And with that he catapulted himself and his reconstructed intelligence report into the world of law.

In the past three days he found himself under the bright spotlights of reason. He was cornered by a trio of South Africa's brightest legal brains. And he had to watch his whisper about Ngcuka melt away under their disregard for his suspicions.

Up to his last sentence, Shaik tried to make them understand.

But they just shook their heads, forcing Shaik to conclude his evidence with tears in his eyes, saying: "If I brought my country into disrepute, I apologise."

It was clear right from the start that the members of the commission and Shaik were not thinking on the same level.

At the beginning of his evidence Judge Joos Hefer asked him: "Are you saying that you do not have open permission to deal with intelligence issues?"

Shaik: "I also don't have direct instructions not to do so."

And he stuck by his story to the end.

"I still have a suspicion," he said shortly before his cross-examination was concluded.

"If the commissioner can find credible information to disprove my assumption, then I will apologise."

He was clear about his motive.

Marumo Moerane SC, counsel for Ngcuka, asked: "Why did you decide that untested allegations should be published?"

Shaik: "I believe that an unfair investigation was done to discredit the good name of the deputy president."

Moerane: "You wanted to hit back?"

Shaik: "I wanted to show that bygones are not always bygones. Ngcuka is using his power to investigate those who investigated him and I was bound by my conscience to do what I believe was the right thing to do."

Moerane: "You are blackening the name of an innocent man."

Shaik, who swore by the standard set up by Oliver Tambo that spy information must be as "true as the Bible", filled his three days of evidence with conjecture, speculation and counter-arguments.

"My standard of proof is if there was a reasonable basis for suspicion," he told the commission, but conceded that his report was never meant to be made public. (Notwithstanding later admissions from him that he was the one who later gave it to former Sunday Times journalist Ranjeni Munusamy.)

He was slow to commit to a definitive answer about the outcome of his investigation.

Hefer asked him: "How would you rate the chances of Ngcuka being a spy? "

Shaik: "I cannot come to a conclusion that he was not a spy."

He did accept that Ngcuka was not Agent RS452 as information was given to (him) by a reliable person.

With acknowledgements to Estelle Ellis and the Cape Times.