It was a tale of betrayal and treason that stunned those who knew her, the televised confession of a white South African lawyer who represented black and white militants in apartheid days, ate and drank and joked with them... and passed everything on to the feared secret police.

She did it, she said, for love... and to boost her self-esteem.

For weeks, allegations that South Africa's top prosecutor was a spy for the apartheid government under the code name "RS452" had kept the country riveted.

Then came the bombshell. Instead of Bulelani Ngcuka, the director of public prosecutions, Vanessa Brereton, now living in London, confessed to being the bearer of the code name, attributed to her in the 1980s.

She spilled the beans this week on South African television.

Brereton said her life as a spy was motivated by two things: Her infatuation with her "handler", Karl Edwards, and her burning hatred of communism.

"He (Edwards) made me feel special. He reinforced my anti-communist beliefs and I felt that I was doing something important for my country," she told the SABC's Special Assignment programme in London.

Brereton confessed to the spy tag late last month, following weeks of speculation about the identity of the mysterious "Agent RS452".

Ngcuka - who spend several years in apartheid jails in the mid 1980s - was accused of being a spy for the apartheid government by two senior members of the ruling African National Congress who are being investigated for corruption themselves by Ngcuka's unit.

Brereton told The Star newspaper: "I was RS452 and I have had enough of the lies and deceit."

She said it took her up to the late 1980s to finally realise that the security police she had been helping were "brutal".

"I once asked Karl about detainees being tortured. He said they never tortured detainees and that it was all a communist conspiracy," she told the state television programme.

She added: "I believed him, although beneath the surface I suppose I knew it could not possibly be true."

A final report by South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC), appointed in 1995 by then president Nelson Mandela to probe atrocities committed under apartheid, said torture was widespread at the time in the province where Brereton worked.

"There was a sharp increase in killings, torture and severe ill treatment in 1985, just before (a) state of emergency. Torture was a key violation in the Eastern Cape."

Brereton described herself as a person with a low self-esteem as the result of a birth defect, which left her with a gnawing need for attention, power and control.

"I was born with a dislocated hip joint... my one leg was shorter than the other which led to my very low self-esteem. South African society is very sexist and I felt not that desirable. I guess I wanted people to take notice of me."

Former youth activist Looks Matoto told the Johannesburg-based Sunday Times how Brereton once in 1986, interviewed him in a see-through nightie.

"I confided to her that we were going to leave the country at the end of the week. I told her the names of the group. Two days later, all of us (were) arrested and imprisoned for over two days..."

Janet Cherry, then a banned activist represented by Brereton and now a science researcher, told the Cape Argus newspaper: "I am shocked, but not surprised, but also very sad."

Glenn Goosen, himself a human rights lawyer, said the implications for a lawyer who worked for an agency she fought on behalf of her clients were "quite serious."

"Her practice was entirely built on left-wing cases," he told the Cape Argus. "Personally, it is still difficult to come to terms with that level of betrayal."

With acknowledgements to Jan Hennop, Sapa-AFP and Independent Online.