When it comes to elliptical thinking, you have to hand it to Mo Shaik, the brother of convicted fraudster Schabir, who — alas, alack and stuff — has had to rise from the comfort of his private hospital bed, where he has been “recovering” from a dodgy ticker for more than 80 days, and return to prison, there to pay his debt to society.

According to Mampara Mo, Shabby’s health has been a bit of a yo-yo affair. He gets sick. He rests. He recovers. He thinks about prison. He is plunged into despair. He gets sick. He rests. He recovers . . . and so it goes, round and round again.

But Mo should look on the bright side: at least in prison his brother will be safe from prying reporters who want to see how ill poor Shabby really is. Behind bars he should get all the rest he needs. 

With acknowledgements to The Times.