Publication: Business Day Issued: Date: 2007-03-30 Reporter:

Defence Minister Belatedly Cries Wolf

 

Publication 

Business Day
Date 2007-03-30

Web Link

www.businessday.co.za

 

The Bottom Line

Government has come up with a number of creative reasons over the years to justify the controversial ­ and decidedly fishy-smelling ­ multibillion-rand arms deal.

Now that it has become abundantly clear that all those very expensive toys were not only unnecessary but well beyond the dwindling skills base of the South African National Defence Force, Defence Minister Mosiuoa Lekota has dug deep and come up with the most compelling reason of all.

Mum’s the word, but it seems there are subtle warning signs that World War Three could be just around the corner. “Those of us who are close to the situation” and “understand what is going on” *1 in places such as the Democratic Republic of Congo have detected similarities between conditions there and those that prevailed in the Balkans prior to the First World War.

So you see, SA needs a whole bunch of Gripen fighter planes standing idle in their hangars *2 just in case a world war erupts over access to the Congo’s scarce resources. We won’t be able to use them to, say, carry out a pre-emptive strike against Zimbabwe, but we’ll sleep better at night just knowing they’re there.

Lekota’s little interpretation of current events so impressed MPs participating in Tuesday’s defence budget vote debate that he was granted an extra couple of minutes debating time.

Torture by messages

THE Insider is convinced that Telkom, intentionally and with malice aforethought, designs its recorded messages to confuse us, enrage us and generally push us towards the brink of insanity.

Recently there was the call to Telkom’s WorldCall Customer Service Centre, which elicited the robotic message: “Welcome to the WorldCall Customer Service Centre. The number you have dialled does not exist.”

Now the Insider has attempted to contact Idasa in Cape Town, only to be confronted with: “The number you have dialled has been changed. The new number is not available. Please try again later.”

If Telkom thinks this is more helpful than a simple out-of-order tone, the Insider would be grateful to hear its reasons.

Tropical island equities

THE Stock Exchange of Mauritius has announced a one-hour extension of trading hours on the official market.

Pre-opening is from 9am to 10am (after a leisurely fruit platter breakfast and a quick swim), continuous trade is from 10am to 12.30pm, when the market closes. Après-trade activities include red snapper lunch, daiquiris, scuba diving, skiing, snorkelling, windsurfing, walking and just lying on the beach.

Wise words

“PATRIOTISM is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.” — US drama critic and editor George Jean Nathan (1882-1958).

More wise words

“A HAPPY childhood is poor preparation for human contact.” — French novelist Colette (1873-1954).

E-mail gossip to: insider@bdfm.co.za

With acknowledgement to Business Day. 

 

*1       Terror and Thabo have clearly been filching Manto's magic mushrooms or partaking of too large and too regular a swig of the Johnny Walker Blue.


*2      The range and logistics of such a deployment would make it an interesting one.

But at this stage the Gripen doesn't even have suitable weapons.

I wonder whether it has appropriate defensive aids for defence against ground fire.

A pygmy with a Blowpipe costing US$50 000 or less might be able to take out a US$150 million 4th generation jet fighter as it takes off or lands from its forward base close enough, due to its limited combat radius, to the operational area.